


Don't Call Me A Sinner (You're Far From A Saint)

by VioletNight_9



Series: Religious Trauma Verse (Dukexiety) [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Adorable Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Catholicism, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Drugs (weed), Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Punk Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, References to Drugs, Slow Build, Virgil's Smitten, i am actually proud of this, not enough for a mature rating though, there is a mention of underage but they're both in highschool and juniors, theres a bit of a smut scene in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28548180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletNight_9/pseuds/VioletNight_9
Summary: Virgil makes a new friend. Well, they're far more than friends, not that anyone else could ever know.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: Religious Trauma Verse (Dukexiety) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2090985
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Don't Call Me A Sinner (You're Far From A Saint)

**Author's Note:**

> tw: vague smut scene, implied sexual content, Catholicism, brief implication of Catholic guilt, drugs (weed), alcohol (beer)  
> cw: cursing, Remus, high school, religion  
> please tell me if anything needs to be added :)

Virgil sighed, sitting quietly on the curbside, his jacket over where he was sitting to prevent his uniform slacks from getting dirtied. He was way too early for his bus, but his parents- his dad mainly- wanted him out of the house by five. Taking off his backpack, he opened the front zipper and took out a notebook and a pencil, writing softly against the graph pages; he’d learned in eighth grade that graph paper is perfect for writing extensive texts without taking up a whole notebook. Only after about ten minutes of soft scratching on paper and the occasional crackle of tires running over stray gravel did the rumble of an infamous skateboarder's tires get picked up by Virgil’s ears. Virgil trained his eyes against his paper, trying to keep his train of thought moving.

A loud click of the skateboard being kicked up and a stomp from the skater’s combat boots made Virgil jump slightly, his writing halting completely. _Please walk away, please walk away, don’t beat me up, please walk away-_

“Well _hello nurse!”_ The boy whistled, moving to flop next to Virgil. _Kill me_. “I’m Remus, what’s your- oh you go to that prissy private school, ‘ya Catholic?” Remus said, quickly getting side-tracked by the dark blue logo that was sewn against the right side of Virgil’s shirt. Virgil cringed slightly and nodded. Remus raised an eyebrow and spread his legs slightly, shoving his board between his feet. 

His boots were laced up with yellow and purple in a pattern that Virgil had never seen before- he thought it was odd because it looked like it would be such a common lacing method. Patches covered Remus’ jeans which were _very_ ripped up- Virgil could see his upper thigh and peek slightly at his bright, almost toxic green boxers. His shirt was of some band that Virgil was _definitely_ not allowed to listen to. Resting gently against his shirt was a dog tag with the name _Remus_ proudly etched into it and an array of different chains. Once Virgil’s eyes finally reached Remus’ he realized he was being smirked at. _Oh sh- crap._

“See something ya like, dork?” The punk asked, tapping a leg up and down. Pink blush flurried up to Virgil’s ears as he ripped his eyes away to look at the road. Remus cackled slightly and threw his head back, somehow in the process looking _more_ attractive. Wait- attractive? _ATTRACTIVE?!_ Nonono Virgil wasn’t supposed to find other boys attractive- especially not other boys that smelled like cigarettes and had weirdly sexy mullets- _wait no._ “What? Are you not allowed to _talk_ to me?” Virgil hesitated. 

“Not really no…” He muttered softly, carefully avoiding his eyes. 

_“DAMN_ your voice is cute, _you’re_ cute- are you sure you’re Catholic- or at least are you sure you’re straight? Because in all honesty, I’d tap that.” Virgil closed his book and covered his burning face with his hands, putting his elbows against his knees. On any other day _before_ this Virgil could’ve told you he was 100% straight, but looking at this guy he couldn’t help but consider- _no! My dad would_ kill me _if I ended up liking boys._ Virgil quickly shut down his train of thought.

Remus took Virgil’s silence as an invitation to fill the void in conversation on his own, rambling on and on about whatever came to mind while Virgil looked out for his bus. He couldn’t say he wasn’t listening to the other even as his other classmates began to show up, giving the two on the curb strange looks ranging from disgust to pity.

Eventually- actually thirty minutes later from when Remus first showed up- the crumbling of heavy bus tires rolled down the street. Virgil almost sighed in relief but thought it would be rude and caught the breath in his lungs. Quickly, Virgil shuffled up and picked up his backpack and shoved his stuff into its pocket again, walking forward as the bus’ doors opened and other kids started getting on.

“Hey, wait!” Remus called from behind him, a few heavy steps making him stop where he was. “You forgot your jacket, cutie.” Virgil turned around sharply and lo and behold there was his jacket in the gloved hands of Remus- _oh my gosh this guy has leather gloves, why is that cool._ Virgil stepped quickly to take his jacket and mutter a small thank you before scrambling to get onto the bus. 

“I never caught your name!” The now hoodie-clad boy stopped with his hand on the railing of the bus stairs and turned around slightly. 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” He took his final steps in and walked to his usual spot in the middle of the bus. A few people spared long glances to him but no one said a word. Virgil didn't know if it was much better.

* * *

Virgil let out a shaky sigh and he stepped off the bus, quickly starting his walk home as soon as his feet hit the pavement. He softly blew his hair out of his face and rubbed at his eyes. It had been a long day. From his morning with Remus he hadn't been able to focus, too hung up on why he felt so _attracted_ to him. It didn't really help Virgil with his pop quiz on a geometry module he already didn't understand. Just as Virgil turned and was walking by the park by his neighborhood did he hear a familiar voice from his right.

“BUS STOP KID!” Remus yelled from the swing set, jumping off quickly and grabbing his backpack and board while running up to Virgil. _Why me…_ “Wow you go to school for a long time; well I guess the public school has early release today- still, how do you do it? OH! Sorry if that was creepy that I was sitting there, I didn't know you were gonna walk this way,” Remus paused and gasped dramatically, “Maybe it's fate for us to meet!” 

Virgil's hands shook slightly as he looked around. No one was walking by, his parents nor their friends were out, it… it would be okay to talk with him for a bit. He just had to get home before six. Virgil relaxed slightly.

“I'm not really allowed to be talking to you,” Virgil mumbled softly, stopping where he was walking. Remus gave an exaggerated frown. 

“Why not?”

“My dad and his friends said that none of the kids in their circle could talk to…” Virgil coughed slightly, not quite liking his wording- not that he could really help it as it was basically word-for-word, _“Sinners.”_ There was a pause. Then, Remus started laughing- _hysterically._

“I- woo, wow that's-” The boy giggled, wiping a tear from his eye, “I mean technically yeah I am, but that's some stupid ass reasoning.” Virgil's breath picked up a bit. No one really defies the neighborhood Bible Study group- and before anyone asks, it wasn't really Bible Study, more just a place for the Catholic men of the neighborhood to talk smack about the ‘sinning’ people on the block and drink beer. 

“Do you wanna hang out?” Remus asked, tilting his head in a way Virgil just couldn't say no to.

“I have to get home by six.”

“I’ll get you home by six.” Virgil looked hesitant. “Do you trust me to do that? Also you don't _have_ to hang out, it was just an offer.” 

“No, I _want_ to hang out, I-” Virgil cut himself off. Sure he _wanted_ to hang out, but what if his dad or his dad’s friends saw him. A spike of anxiety shot down his back, leaving him indecisive. Remus licked his lips and ran a hand across the shaved portion of his hair, thinking for a moment. A hand extended into the corner of Virgil’s eye, making him look up from where his eyes were glued to the pavement. 

“How about we just hang out at the park for a bit? I’ll tell you when it starts getting close to six,” Remus carefully reached forward, slow enough that Virgil could pull away if he wanted to, and took his hand. “Do you trust me?” Virgil hesitated, taking a deep breath and letting the tension leave his body as the edges of his lips curled up. 

“Not particularly,” He joked, before lightly pushing their joined hands towards Remus. The punk smirked a bit and tugged Virgil along to the play structure.  
“You’re a dork. But a cute one.” He winked. Virgil couldn’t say he wasn’t comfortable. There was just something about him. Remus seemed like the most fun that he’d ever have- even if he technically wasn’t allowed to hang out with him. Maybe… maybe that’s where some of the fun came from. 

* * *

“Do you really do them?” Virgil asked, swinging slightly, making Remus look up.

“Do who?” He asked with a smirk. Virgil laughed a bit, pushing the hair out of his eye and adjusting his collared shirt a bit.

“No like… do you do drugs?” Remus’ smile dropped for a second, his thinking before responding. The hoodie-clad boy messed with the ribbing of his sleeves nervously. Slowly, Remus’ smile grew wider and wider. 

“Do you _want_ some?” Virgil shrugged, looking up to make eye contact with Remus only to quickly pull his eyes away at the way he was looking at him. Remus and Virgil had only known each other for a few months but they couldn’t feel closer; it may have been because they didn’t have any other friends, but neither of them minded.

“I mean,” he paused, “not right now of course.” Remus whistled.

“Ooo I thought you were a good Catholic boy? Have I tainted you?” He joked, leaning to be closer to Virgil’s face. His ear grew hot as blush climbed up his neck like vines, not daring to back away from how close the two were. Remus smiled and let his swing reset, letting Virgil finally catch his breath. It wasn’t the first nor the last time that Remus would leave him breathless, but the effect it had on him never changed. 

“I guess you have.” Looking down at the sandy ground, Virgil considered words that he’d dare not say in front of his father. _I don’t mind being tainted if you are my sweet corruption._ His mouth felt dry.

_Not yet._

* * *

Remus leaned against his bedroom wall, watching Virgil who was happily sitting on his bed. The two had decided that they should have a sleepover- Virgil quickly lying to his mother about who he would be hanging out with. He had to pay off a kid to say that they were sleeping over. Twenty bucks is a lot when you don’t have an allowance and work a below minimum wage job at GoodWill. 

“So what do you want to do?” Remus asked, pushing off the wall and moving to sit next to Virgil on the bed. He shrugged and kicked his feet lightly.  
“I didn’t really think I’d get this far,” he admitted, smiling sheepishly at the taller boy. Remus snorted and layed down with a dramatic flop against his green sheets. Virgil looked around the room for a second.

The walls were a shade of beige, clearly unpainted and where there was paint it was just splatters of green and black spray paint. Posters for bands that Virgil has only heard when hanging out with Remus were plastered proudly against the walls alongside a fair amount of high school playbills. A few pieces of paper were stapled, pinned, and stuck to the wall with lord knows what written on them. A speaker stood at about waist height in the corner of the room, a disk playing quietly in it- Remus had let him choose the music,

A quick sniff and Virgil could quickly tell that Remus, most definitely, smoked a _lot_ of weed. Though, he couldn’t help but find the smell strangely comforting; he boiled it down to it just smelling like Remus. Even with his feet above the ground, he could still feel the cold of the wooden floor below the bed. He would ask why Remus didn’t have carpet but he figured it out pretty quick.

Virgil fell back with a light sigh, staring at the ceiling. Glow in the dark stars and a few old party ribbons were stuck to his ceiling. Virgil couldn’t help but be honest when he said he was surprised there wasn’t gum on the walls. 

“Your room is really cool.”

“Thanks.” A few beats of silence passed. “Do you wanna get high?”

* * *

“I swear my mom loves you more than she loves me.” Remus joked. Virgil giggled as he flopped onto Remus’ bed and covered his face with his arm. This is the most fun he’s ever had. A light puff of air next to him told Virgil that Remus was next to him. Slowly, he removed his arm and turned his head to look at the boy.

Remus’ pupils were blown, much like Virgil’s. His hair was messy and Virgil just couldn’t stop himself from running his fingers through it. With his lips slightly parted, Remus let out a soft sigh and leaned forward, bonking his forehead against Virgil’s and closing his eyes for a moment. The smaller boy frowned slightly and softly knocked his head against Remus’ in return. His eyes opened. 

“I have something to tell you.” He said, voice barely above a murmur. Virgil could feel his breath against his lips, bowling softly against his skin like a far away kiss. Pink softly dusted his cheeks and his eyes sparkled with interest.

“Yeah?” 

“You know how I told you you were pretty when we first met?”

“Yeah?”

“I still think you’re really pretty, even prettier if I dare say.” Remus said, looking to Virgil’s lips and ghosting his hand against his cheek. Virgil only giggled at the words. Remus’ heart sunk to his stomach. He should’ve done this while they were sober, but he didn't have the guts. All he could do was look in front of him and watch as Virgil’s giggles slowed into soft puffs of air against his face. Their green, white, and brown hair mingled above them as they turned to face each other on their sides.

“Do you wanna know a secret?” Virgil stage whispered, leaning in closer and just barely brushing his lips against Remus’, “I love you.” The two slotted their bodies softly against each other, wrapping arms messily enough to where they couldn’t tell where one of them started and the other ended. And if they kissed, neither of them could even blame the weed. 

* * *

Years passed and passion grew. The two would sneak off under the cloak of the night to smoke and tell stories. Share hooded kisses in the dark of a side yard or the open security of an alleyway. Hands tangled in hair, lips and tongues mingled as if they’ve done it a million times before- and maybe they have. 

Sleepovers held in semi-secret used for nights of quiet passion. The air always tinged with the smallest bit of smoke as hot breath threatened to fog up glass. Whimpers and tears muffled by gentle kisses, groans and reassurances blocked by soft blankets. Sometimes smoke passed between lungs, the air being shared and a soft laugh breaking out between the two as moonlight cut vaguely through curtains and lamps gave the room a soft green and purple glow. A perfect imperfection of a couple walking around with hidden hickeys in places only they could see. 

Even as the sun rose in the morning the two couldn’t help but hold fast to their needs, fierce kisses being exchanged against walls and in public bathrooms. The world could simply fade away behind the tinted tips of dyed hair and messy eyeliner; covered in the black lipstick that coated cheeks and necks on Friday nights. No complaints could ever be made. A secret passion seemed stronger than the relationships the two would see at their schools doing the same things they did in the dark of the night and warmth of locked bedrooms.

* * *

Cold autumn wind blew softly against Virgil’s face, the warmth of Remus’ body resting beside him keeping him grounded. It was finals week for the two of them and neither of them had the mental capacity for anything anymore. Everything felt like too much. The world felt like too much. Everything but each other. 

Remus himself was spacing out, imagining where they could be when suddenly he straightened his back, his body sharpening before slowly deflating with an exhale of air on upturned lips. Virgil let out a soft hum at the sound of Remus’ breath. 

‘What if…” Remus trailed off, capturing Virgil’s attention.

“What if?” Remus turned to face Virgil and made eye contact with him.

“What if we ran away together? Just the two of us to god knows where. Just us against the world.” Virgil smiled softly, adjusting his grip on his boyfriend's hand.

“And where would we go?” He asked, leaning closer to cuddle against Remus’ side.

“Wherever we want to. The world could be ours.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t get sick of me?”

“I would never get tired of you.” Shared smiles pressed gently against each other.

They both loved the idea. To be able to walk around holding hands. To be able to kiss each other softly in the morning sun. To feel the warmth of each other’s bodies in a slow afternoon coffee shop. To hold each other close with the blinds shining golden streaks of the glittering morning sun against their back. 

How they wished they could softly kiss in the park. How they wished they could dance in the streets in the pouring rain. How they wished to be more than some classified relationship. But they knew they had to be patient. Wait until after high school, then we can leave this town behind us. We can go live in a city, or a small neighborhood, or in the middle of nowhere. Anywhere Remus would go Virgil would follow and vise versa. A simple promise written on the inside of silver rings.

_“Follow me?”_

_“To the ends of the earth.”_


End file.
